Match.com Gems

I haven't written much recently mostly because I haven't wanted to. Also, because I have been busy. To catch you up, I got into school. I am getting a surgery in the end of November that will change my life, I have a new pimple I am not proud of, and I am single.

There, I think we are caught up.

Recently I joined Match.com. This has been a interesting experience so far.

The first challenge is building your profile. They ask you a lot of questions. Some questions are general like "Do you have kids?" some are boring questions like "Whats your favorite movie?" and then there are a lot that are massively specific and personal such as 'What is your blood type?" and "List your approximate bathroom schedule". When I was filling out the profile, the one thing that made me believe in the Match.com system was a little check box in the section of "what you look for in a mate" that says "Deal breaker".

This deal breaker option gave me hope. I thought if I clicked it, that those deal breaker guys wouldn't be able to find me. Not true, not true at all.

You think after answering all these questions, you'd find someone out there you might like. This has been my experience:

*One guy emailed me saying: (in reference to one picture of mine where my tongue is out) "Put that tongue away or I'll...LOL!"
      - What the fuck does that even mean? Or you'll cut it off? Rub something against it? Jack off? One thing I can tell you about that email...I didn't "LOL" at all.

*One of my matches was my friend's ex-boyfriend. Not only did he lie about his age, his martial history, and the fact that he does have a kid, he was also a psychotic drug-abusing, physically abusive douche bag. (I did LOL when I saw his profile come up).

*I don't know if I am allowed to attach pictures of people on my blog, and to avoid being too mean, I wont do it however, I was emailed by a black guy with a huge combed out afro with an entirely gold grill. His picture looked like he was in jail and about to pull out his shank to stab me. His email was something along the lines of "Sup gurl. Youz hot!" Another one was a guy with a full on mullet. I didn't even bother reading his email.

*My favorite match so far??? Ready for this? This is exactly what he wrote in the "IN HIS OWN WORDS" section about himself (note: all grammatical errors here are his and not mine):

    "I'm new in Miami. I'm open-minded, funny, interesting and intelligent guy...once you get to know me. I own few web businesses, that allows me to live anywhere in the world. I go to gym regulary, I like to go to the beach, reading books, watching movies... and doing stupid things somethimes. I also love traveling and I do that quite often. I'm looking for friends or a girlfriend perhaps. I'm into transesexual girls."

Words cant describe how much I love this guy's profile. Did he "wink" at me cause he thinks I'm a tranny? Who knows. Gotta love the Internet. Really looking forward to spending a lot of money on this site to get more of these winners.