In a matter of days I will be turning 29 years old. To people in their early teens, this may seem cool... it's not. For people older than me, this may seem young...it's not. Just remember when you were 28 and turning 29, thinking about all the things you have not accomplished by the time you were 30. It's a really crappy age. My 30th birthday will be fun, because it's a big birthday and I imagine all 5 friends that I have will force me to have a great time. But 29, this sucks.
Here is a list of things that being 29 inhibits me to do:
-Become an actress on Glee: This really bothers me. Aside from my friends thinking I don't have the talent to be on Glee (assholes), it has become a problem that I am now too old to pass as a high school student. Even too old to pass as a high school student from 90210, where all their actors were in their 30s. Apparently, I look too old to be an unrealistic high school student as well.
-Dream big: What's the point. Honestly.
-Believe my undergraduate college degree would give me my "dream job". Nope. Didn't happen. Some might argue that I still have time to find and get my "dream job". I am a realist, even if I get a job I really love and enjoy and that is perfect for my talents...we all know something will be off. The boss will be an asshole, the company would downsize and/or fail completely, or my co-workers will be so gross and obnoxious that it will make life miserable.
-Dye my hair unnatural colors: It's not respected in the adult world. You end up looking like a hipster, lesbian (guys too), or drug addict. If you are none of those things, it's not a good choice...unless you are on TV and that's cool. Like the pretty one from "The Real L Word" who has slightly pink hair. But then again, she is a hipster-ish lesbian on TV and probably a drug addict.
-Learn a new foreign language or at least improve on one: It's really not going to happen. My Spanish, French and Italian are not getting any better. If anything, I just forget things more often.
-Make new friends: I'm pretty set in my ways at this point and prefer to do what I want to do as opposed to what other people want me to do.
-Take people younger than me seriously: I just can't anymore. I don't want to hear your dreams, because I am an honest person and will have to fight myself to tell you that it probably won't happen. Even if I love you dearly, which sometimes I do, I think of you as "cute" as opposed to interesting or realistic.
-Loose weight easily: Nope, not so easy anymore. F You metabolism.
-Dream small: Because I am older, I understand my limitations. Things like getting a dog, a big dream of mine, seems less realistic unless I live with someone who will help me take care of the dog. I know, it would be really hard for me to put the dog's interests before my own on some occasions- although I would love it unconditionally. I want to name him Taco, Prince Tyrion, Chick Magnet, or The Smoke Monster From Lost (Ticker Tape for short).
-Become famous: It doesn't matter what I become famous for, it's pretty unlikely at this point that I will. Really my only chance at becoming famous it to do something really horrible to a whole lot of people and that's not in the cards at the moment.
-Get piercings: (see Dye my hair unnatural colors above- same reasons)
-Not feel like a cougar when I watch any movie out ever and am attracted to one of the actors.
-Puberty: I can no longer blame mood swings, pimples, irrational obsessions with crushes, or me being an asshole on puberty.
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