Doomsday & 2030 by Albert Brooks

First I read "2030" by Albert Brooks- an excellent read I would recommend for everyone.

Then that naked guy on the bridge ate another guy's face in my hometown over memorial day weekend. (Zombie?)

Then the CDC announced that zombies aren't real and there is no official threat so America can sleep well at night. Thanks CDC!

Then I started watching "Doomsday Preppers" and learned about solar flares, bioterrorism, the collapse of the economy and many other potential threats to mankind. I learned how these "crazy" people are preparing to survive and I thought- someone not crazy needs to help continue the human race and I like sex... so I thought I really need to prepare.

What I have done to prepare for doomsday:

-terrified my friends who live in LA about the super earthquake and taught them how they should prepare.

-thought about stealing a boat, specifically from this douchebag who pulls up next to my favorite bar ever Sunday blasting shit music that overrides the music from the bar which makes me go crazy.

-extensively searched for hand-held battery operated transistor radios- haven't bought one because I don't want to commit to one I am not sure is doomsday approved and do I need a license?

-when my parents showed me their plan of how they are going to re-do the backyard, I suggested that they watch "Doomsday Preppers" first and showed them the area where they could bury at least 4-6 old school busses before they start the surface beautification of the yard. Also where they could add a small farm and vegetable garden. My dad is into it.

- ordered a free sample of freeze dried doomsday food. The guy on the phone asked me what my interest was in preparing with a freeze dried food supply. I replied "Well I live in Miami and you saw that zombie guy right? I thought would be a good idea". No laugh from the guy, so I said "hurricane preparation" and he agreed and sent the sample. (I've had it for at least a month and haven't tried it).

-ordered space ice cream- mostly cause I like it.

-started asking people I think I can stand everyday underground for at least 2-10 years if they are interested in investing in some land and a bunker. So far no takers... Maybe they won't be able to stand me? Something to think about in my approach... I need a worthy skill.

-thought extensively about including an isolation bar room in my bunker with a cool bartender to drink alone in when I decide I don't want to be around other people and just want to drink, flirt and read. (note to self- need to either stock a kindle with every book available- fuck I hate kindles. Can they even run on batteries?)

-stopped taking birth control- no need if I'm to continue the race.