Everyone knows going to the DMV is the worst experience ever. Except for the one in Tallahassee that has a wait time of less than 5 minutes...
Needless to say, I am at the DMV right now. I chose the one in the disgusting Mall of the Americas. The reason I choose this one was because I hoped people wouldn't want to go to a mall for their driver's license and because malls have food courts. I think I also assumed since I've never been to this mall, no one else has either and it would be nearly empty.
I got here a little before noon already starving. So 2.5 hours later I am no closer to getting my license renewed- but I had some nice Burboun chicken from the food court.
Waiting at the DMV is like waiting in an airport for a delayed flight to board- except on airplanes you end your day where you want to be. At the DMV you end up getting something you had already with a minor update on it. Everybody is pissed and looking around at each other wondering what everyone else's number is (like you do in airports wondering who will be sitting around you). Occasionally you overhear "Whats your number?" conversations. All I want to say is "what difference does it make?". What does it mean to you if I'm 322 and you are 348 or 303 and they are currently calling 289 up to the desk. It's not like they gave us numbers based on our life's achievements. It doesn't make me better than you that my number is closer to being called than yours, I'm better than you because I don't ask that question.
There is also the inevitable who would you do mind game. People are looking around, myself included, checking the group as a whole then narrowing down the prospects of- if they had to, they would have sex with these people. I personally would do 1 person here, the guy next to me. I suspect he does not feel the same.
On that note, I'll leave you with a quote. My friend, and the world's greatest Frenchie, Mattieu says: I don't have a dirty mind I have a sexy imagination
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Turning 29 is not like turning 30, it's worse
In a matter of days I will be turning 29 years old. To people in their early teens, this may seem cool... it's not. For people older than me, this may seem young...it's not. Just remember when you were 28 and turning 29, thinking about all the things you have not accomplished by the time you were 30. It's a really crappy age. My 30th birthday will be fun, because it's a big birthday and I imagine all 5 friends that I have will force me to have a great time. But 29, this sucks.
Here is a list of things that being 29 inhibits me to do:
-Become an actress on Glee: This really bothers me. Aside from my friends thinking I don't have the talent to be on Glee (assholes), it has become a problem that I am now too old to pass as a high school student. Even too old to pass as a high school student from 90210, where all their actors were in their 30s. Apparently, I look too old to be an unrealistic high school student as well.
-Dream big: What's the point. Honestly.
-Believe my undergraduate college degree would give me my "dream job". Nope. Didn't happen. Some might argue that I still have time to find and get my "dream job". I am a realist, even if I get a job I really love and enjoy and that is perfect for my talents...we all know something will be off. The boss will be an asshole, the company would downsize and/or fail completely, or my co-workers will be so gross and obnoxious that it will make life miserable.
-Dye my hair unnatural colors: It's not respected in the adult world. You end up looking like a hipster, lesbian (guys too), or drug addict. If you are none of those things, it's not a good choice...unless you are on TV and that's cool. Like the pretty one from "The Real L Word" who has slightly pink hair. But then again, she is a hipster-ish lesbian on TV and probably a drug addict.
-Learn a new foreign language or at least improve on one: It's really not going to happen. My Spanish, French and Italian are not getting any better. If anything, I just forget things more often.
-Make new friends: I'm pretty set in my ways at this point and prefer to do what I want to do as opposed to what other people want me to do.
-Take people younger than me seriously: I just can't anymore. I don't want to hear your dreams, because I am an honest person and will have to fight myself to tell you that it probably won't happen. Even if I love you dearly, which sometimes I do, I think of you as "cute" as opposed to interesting or realistic.
-Loose weight easily: Nope, not so easy anymore. F You metabolism.
-Dream small: Because I am older, I understand my limitations. Things like getting a dog, a big dream of mine, seems less realistic unless I live with someone who will help me take care of the dog. I know, it would be really hard for me to put the dog's interests before my own on some occasions- although I would love it unconditionally. I want to name him Taco, Prince Tyrion, Chick Magnet, or The Smoke Monster From Lost (Ticker Tape for short).
-Become famous: It doesn't matter what I become famous for, it's pretty unlikely at this point that I will. Really my only chance at becoming famous it to do something really horrible to a whole lot of people and that's not in the cards at the moment.
-Get piercings: (see Dye my hair unnatural colors above- same reasons)
-Not feel like a cougar when I watch any movie out ever and am attracted to one of the actors.
-Puberty: I can no longer blame mood swings, pimples, irrational obsessions with crushes, or me being an asshole on puberty.
Here is a list of things that being 29 inhibits me to do:
-Become an actress on Glee: This really bothers me. Aside from my friends thinking I don't have the talent to be on Glee (assholes), it has become a problem that I am now too old to pass as a high school student. Even too old to pass as a high school student from 90210, where all their actors were in their 30s. Apparently, I look too old to be an unrealistic high school student as well.
-Dream big: What's the point. Honestly.
-Believe my undergraduate college degree would give me my "dream job". Nope. Didn't happen. Some might argue that I still have time to find and get my "dream job". I am a realist, even if I get a job I really love and enjoy and that is perfect for my talents...we all know something will be off. The boss will be an asshole, the company would downsize and/or fail completely, or my co-workers will be so gross and obnoxious that it will make life miserable.
-Dye my hair unnatural colors: It's not respected in the adult world. You end up looking like a hipster, lesbian (guys too), or drug addict. If you are none of those things, it's not a good choice...unless you are on TV and that's cool. Like the pretty one from "The Real L Word" who has slightly pink hair. But then again, she is a hipster-ish lesbian on TV and probably a drug addict.
-Learn a new foreign language or at least improve on one: It's really not going to happen. My Spanish, French and Italian are not getting any better. If anything, I just forget things more often.
-Make new friends: I'm pretty set in my ways at this point and prefer to do what I want to do as opposed to what other people want me to do.
-Take people younger than me seriously: I just can't anymore. I don't want to hear your dreams, because I am an honest person and will have to fight myself to tell you that it probably won't happen. Even if I love you dearly, which sometimes I do, I think of you as "cute" as opposed to interesting or realistic.
-Loose weight easily: Nope, not so easy anymore. F You metabolism.
-Dream small: Because I am older, I understand my limitations. Things like getting a dog, a big dream of mine, seems less realistic unless I live with someone who will help me take care of the dog. I know, it would be really hard for me to put the dog's interests before my own on some occasions- although I would love it unconditionally. I want to name him Taco, Prince Tyrion, Chick Magnet, or The Smoke Monster From Lost (Ticker Tape for short).
-Become famous: It doesn't matter what I become famous for, it's pretty unlikely at this point that I will. Really my only chance at becoming famous it to do something really horrible to a whole lot of people and that's not in the cards at the moment.
-Get piercings: (see Dye my hair unnatural colors above- same reasons)
-Not feel like a cougar when I watch any movie out ever and am attracted to one of the actors.
-Puberty: I can no longer blame mood swings, pimples, irrational obsessions with crushes, or me being an asshole on puberty.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Pinterest Me
OMFG- I found the Holy Grail!
I believe I have mentioned that I have recently become obsessed with Pinterest. If you've ever been on it once you know exactly what I am talking about. Yesterday, at about 10:30 I started browsing Pinterest for funny things and looking for things to Repin. I intended to go to bed by 11:00pm. At about 11:30, I found....
Wait for it....
Wait for it...
A Doomsday Prepper's Pinterest board!!!!!!!
I immediatly started re-pinnng her things, following her and all her prepper friends. I have so much prepper information now I feel like I am going to explode! Do you know what you need to make a candle that will burn for 45 days? I do. Do you know how to make your own septic tank? I do... I know it all!
For those of you that live in LA and need to prep for the major earthquake...this lady pinned websites on how to do just that!!!! (You know who you are, and you need to follow me on Pinterest asap...and what happened to you being a guest on my blog?)
The fact that I am so excited about this says a lot about my life at the moment. I am extremely bored. I can't do any of the prepping stuff that I want to, for the sole purpose of entertaining myself and showing guests how crazy I am, mostly because I live in an apartment.
If I had a house with a backyard, there would be no end to the fun things I would entertain myself doing. First on my list, build my own chicken coop with a garden box top to grow herbs. (I dont cook so I doubt I'll ever use them- but they will be pretty). I will sell my eggs to the neighbors (mostly since I eat about 1-2 eggs in month).
I have about 50 million "Do It Yourself" projects, or DIY for insiders, that I need to get working on asap.
I will start with my bathrooms and post when I finish. (Like you care...but this is basically the premise of my blog now. I talk, you read and never comment, so I keep talking to keep myself busy). If you want me to talk about particular things that interest you, comment and I will try.
I believe I have mentioned that I have recently become obsessed with Pinterest. If you've ever been on it once you know exactly what I am talking about. Yesterday, at about 10:30 I started browsing Pinterest for funny things and looking for things to Repin. I intended to go to bed by 11:00pm. At about 11:30, I found....
Wait for it....
Wait for it...
A Doomsday Prepper's Pinterest board!!!!!!!
I immediatly started re-pinnng her things, following her and all her prepper friends. I have so much prepper information now I feel like I am going to explode! Do you know what you need to make a candle that will burn for 45 days? I do. Do you know how to make your own septic tank? I do... I know it all!
For those of you that live in LA and need to prep for the major earthquake...this lady pinned websites on how to do just that!!!! (You know who you are, and you need to follow me on Pinterest asap...and what happened to you being a guest on my blog?)
The fact that I am so excited about this says a lot about my life at the moment. I am extremely bored. I can't do any of the prepping stuff that I want to, for the sole purpose of entertaining myself and showing guests how crazy I am, mostly because I live in an apartment.
If I had a house with a backyard, there would be no end to the fun things I would entertain myself doing. First on my list, build my own chicken coop with a garden box top to grow herbs. (I dont cook so I doubt I'll ever use them- but they will be pretty). I will sell my eggs to the neighbors (mostly since I eat about 1-2 eggs in month).
I have about 50 million "Do It Yourself" projects, or DIY for insiders, that I need to get working on asap.
I will start with my bathrooms and post when I finish. (Like you care...but this is basically the premise of my blog now. I talk, you read and never comment, so I keep talking to keep myself busy). If you want me to talk about particular things that interest you, comment and I will try.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Why I Am Not Approachable...
A likely conversation a stranger might have with me if they met me within the past week:
Stranger: Hey, how's it going? I see you here a lot. You are usually watching movies on your phone or reading. What are you watching?
Me: (Removing headphones, book already on the table) Whatever, it's not important. What's your name?
Stranger: Why? Are you watching porn or something?
Me: No, I tend to alternate between hurricane tracking and watching horrible YouTube videos about kids born in 3rd world countries with really incredible but sad deformities.
Stranger: Umm... Oh, so what are you reading?
Me: "The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down" by Anne Fadiman.
Stranger: What's it about?
Me: Umm a Hmong child who was born in a traditional family but has epilepsy and the struggle her family and the child's doctors faced with the cultural differences in trying to treat their epileptic daughter.
Stranger: Oh, umm well it was nice meeting you...
Me: It's a really interesting story that delves into the differences... (cut off because stranger is walking away) ok, yeah it was nice meeting you too.
Stranger: Hey, how's it going? I see you here a lot. You are usually watching movies on your phone or reading. What are you watching?
Me: (Removing headphones, book already on the table) Whatever, it's not important. What's your name?
Stranger: Why? Are you watching porn or something?
Me: No, I tend to alternate between hurricane tracking and watching horrible YouTube videos about kids born in 3rd world countries with really incredible but sad deformities.
Stranger: Umm... Oh, so what are you reading?
Me: "The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down" by Anne Fadiman.
Stranger: What's it about?
Me: Umm a Hmong child who was born in a traditional family but has epilepsy and the struggle her family and the child's doctors faced with the cultural differences in trying to treat their epileptic daughter.
Stranger: Oh, umm well it was nice meeting you...
Me: It's a really interesting story that delves into the differences... (cut off because stranger is walking away) ok, yeah it was nice meeting you too.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Prison Rules
Wow- the Seminole Hollywood Casino (not the Hard rock) is a hole. I went there tonight to see Sig Hanson from deadliest catch (awesome) and ended up hanging around camel-toed, mullet clad, 500lb-ers (not awesome).
This was a small casino that from the moment you walked in, you immediately got the nicotine consumption you would get from straight-up eating a pack of cigarettes in one breath.
What was amazing was there were at least 300 people there and maybe 50 were playing games or eating. Granted, many people were there to see Sig, but I'm pretty sure there were people there trading cigarettes for money to play slots.
One family was there just hanging out at the bar, not drinking anything, and basically sleeping at the table. With them was their 20-something year old son listening and dancing to hip hop songs on his iPad with headphones. I liked him, he was a one man show.
It's obvious that the place was busy because mobile home owners decided to ride out the hurricane there. Best part, aside from Sig being nice and really funny was that I was hands-down the prettiest girl there (not hard to accomplish).
I only could take a few pictures, so here they are. Oh, and I ordered a Smirnoff Ice as I was trying to blend in with the crowd. Look at the guy in the background- love his hair.
This was a small casino that from the moment you walked in, you immediately got the nicotine consumption you would get from straight-up eating a pack of cigarettes in one breath.
What was amazing was there were at least 300 people there and maybe 50 were playing games or eating. Granted, many people were there to see Sig, but I'm pretty sure there were people there trading cigarettes for money to play slots.
One family was there just hanging out at the bar, not drinking anything, and basically sleeping at the table. With them was their 20-something year old son listening and dancing to hip hop songs on his iPad with headphones. I liked him, he was a one man show.
It's obvious that the place was busy because mobile home owners decided to ride out the hurricane there. Best part, aside from Sig being nice and really funny was that I was hands-down the prettiest girl there (not hard to accomplish).
I only could take a few pictures, so here they are. Oh, and I ordered a Smirnoff Ice as I was trying to blend in with the crowd. Look at the guy in the background- love his hair.
Friday, August 24, 2012
I am Katniss
I wish I could say otherwise, but I love the hunger games. I love the movie- I love the books... I think it's awesome.
I just got a new shipment of books I ordered and I'm looking through them after I just watched the hunger games move again- and even though these books are appealing to me, I want to re-read the hunger games.
I think I must be a teenager stuck in a striking young 28 year old body. Damn, aren't I supposed to be getting more mature with old age?
Guess not. I love it all- twilight, the hunger games, the entire true blood/sookie stackhouse series, all of it.
Doesn't mean I don't love good books or shows, but fuck I love the stupid shit too.
My hurricane plans:
Get batteries for my book light
Get water for my cat to drink
Replace my fan
Stock up on ice and booze for a potential hurricane party
Do laundry before my things stop working
Shave
Buy a gun for potential looters
Just kidding
I have to pee- have a good weekend and comment here or on YouTube regarding my application video. I'm writing you all everyday and I get nothing back... I know you are reading I see it in my stats...
I just got a new shipment of books I ordered and I'm looking through them after I just watched the hunger games move again- and even though these books are appealing to me, I want to re-read the hunger games.
I think I must be a teenager stuck in a striking young 28 year old body. Damn, aren't I supposed to be getting more mature with old age?
Guess not. I love it all- twilight, the hunger games, the entire true blood/sookie stackhouse series, all of it.
Doesn't mean I don't love good books or shows, but fuck I love the stupid shit too.
My hurricane plans:
Get batteries for my book light
Get water for my cat to drink
Replace my fan
Stock up on ice and booze for a potential hurricane party
Do laundry before my things stop working
Shave
Buy a gun for potential looters
Just kidding
I have to pee- have a good weekend and comment here or on YouTube regarding my application video. I'm writing you all everyday and I get nothing back... I know you are reading I see it in my stats...
Thursday, August 23, 2012
My First Video
I had no idea how to begin this assignment. A friend of mine also applied to Miami Ad School and had to make a video as well. Hers was good, kinda funny and very much like an ad on creativity...which is probably 100% what the admissions people want to see.
After seeing her video, there was also the additional challenge that we both have very similar backgrounds and how do I not outright copy her video. She even chose The Postal Service as her background music, which was exactly what I wanted mine to be.
The next step was making kind of an outline of what I wanted to say. So I typed out a "what makes me creative" essay and just thought about that awhile. I hated it and deleted it and re-started it about a hundred times.
Once I had the words, I needed to come up with the visual. First thoughts? Look up pictures of crazy people on the internet, download stills from YouPorn and use photoshop to alter them and pass them off as my original artwork. What I actually ended up doing was going though every picture in the computer and finding the ones that made me look pretty.
Once I found all 5 pictures of myself that I like, I needed to create the story around them. I wanted to include my friends, my family and the fact that I was taught by famous professors...I also kinda wanted to make people cry with how personal and touching it was. I was also going for the "wasn't college fun" feel. Some friends in the video I don't see much anymore, so I was hoping they would remember when watching the video that we used to love each other.
Picking the music I must say was the easiest part. I obviously had to rule out Postal Service, so after that I figured, since I was talking about my family, I should use Cuban music that didn't suck and wasn't so distracting that it would take away from the point of the video. So, I chose Buena Vista Social Club's "Chan Chan" which was immediately called out in an email from a friend that said "good call on the puerto rican music"...dick.
OK, so the video is attached. Please let me know what you think. Do you get what makes me creative? Do you think I should apply to a different school entirely and become a movie director? Reminder- the topic isn't SHOW ME THE ART WORK YOU HAVE DONE...its WHAT MAKES YOU CREATIVE.
I would have loved to include blog shots or have mentioned the blog, but I don't want them to read it. Side note: the video includes my real name and the names of relatives. So, to my 19 Russian readers, and my 1 reader each from the UK, Singapore and Germany- please don't stalk me.
So here it goes, watch the movie and comment. If you are my friend and you weren't in it, its because either I don't have a picture of you, or the picture of you that I have makes you look fat.
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